Recently while planning to do my first Vision Board Party I received a call from one of my friends/lil sis who wanted more details about the event. To my surprise I would spend the next hour on the phone defending myself, all because of one question she continued to ask me over and over and over. That question was “WHY”?
“Why” is probably the shortest yet most direct question anyone could ask. For one it needs no setup or words to add before it or after it, and second it is a full sentence all by itself. Funny enough, this short yet full question is often answered with another short yet unintelligent response…. “Because”. I teach my children that “because” is not an answer. It actually communicates that you’re either to afraid to be honest and tell the truth, are doing something without purpose or are too shallow to dig deep to find your reason. How often do we do things without defining the why behind the what? How often do we do things trying to hide the why behind the what? And how often do we do things just because, or better yet said, without purpose? The real answer to your why will reveal when you’re doing something from your heart vs doing something with a motive. Within ourselves we know the truth but exposing that truth can be difficult to do at times, especially when your reason is centered around you or a past experience.
“Why are you doing this vision board party?” But why? WHY???? After hearing this question over and over even after explaining with a reason I thought was self-explanatory, I began to get a little frustrated. My frustration turned from me explaining my reason to me defending my reason. Before you know it I was downplaying the entire party. This was because I felt she was accusing me of having a selfish motive. This back and forth lasted for one whole hour and then she asked me a question that shifted the way I was hearing and my understanding of what she was really asking. She said “Do you know who you are? Everything about you is ministry. I keep asking you why because I was waiting for you to say you are doing this to minister to women. Because you are who you are, you should never do anything just to do it.” Wow! I had to take a minute to let that sink in. And then I apologized. I spent the last hour trying to prove her wrong only to find out I misunderstood the question. You see, I’ve been in environments where people’s motives were questioned all the time. Some of those times it was a genuine heart move while others revealed that a motive was the leading factor. Because of this I tend to always try to make sure I communicate I have no selfish motive behind anything I do, which in essence causes me to spend more time and focus on what I’m not saying rather than what I am saying. With this fresh in my mind I automatically jumped on the defense trying to assure her my heart was pure and there was no selfish motive with me doing the event, but her question was really challenging “me” rather than the event. This was an eye opener to say the least. When I water down “who I am” in fear of what others may say or think, what I’m really doing is boxing in or hiding the God in me who leads and orders me to do what I do! That’s a whole other blog.
It’s T Time! So lets talk about it….
What is the why behind your what? Can you be honest and say? Or have you even thought deep enough to truthfully answer? Ecclesiastes 12:14 says “For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.” How easy is it for us to lie to people thinking we can get away with “who we are” which is reflected in the why in “what we do”? However, we can never run nor hide from God seeing and knowing the truth. As a believer the difference between doing something from our heart vs doing it with a motive is the person that can be seen at the core of that thing. The question then becomes is it you or is it God? We serve a God of purpose that did everything with a purpose on purpose. Therefore, everything we do should be on purpose with a purpose. Knowing your why prevents you from having to fight or defend what you do. However, you have to know and be confident in that even when those that challenge you may disagree. The truth is, many times people can see past your answer and already know the truth. Why? Because they know “you!” So I’ll leave you with this, “If God is not the center, reason or core…. Then who and what are you doing it for?”
T’s Truth…. w/ Love <3